Chapter 9: Trayvon — Intercourse, appreciate, and Like in Prison2

Just just What had been the probabilities things could wind up violently with me, of course, getting the shitty end between us? Might Trayvon force himself on me in a manner that I happened to be reluctant to just accept but struggling to stop?! They certainly were perhaps maybe not idle concerns. We thought long and difficult about it, however in the final end i decided that no, he’dn’t do this. According to just just just what, you may well ask? Good question — we don’t understand.

Another consideration ended up being, the thing that was Trayvon leaving this relationship? Demonstrably, he’d have an intercourse partner and also at minimum some use of my canteen account. We knew he previously simply no cash, in which he knew that I’d at the very least some funds. Maybe he had been actually interested in me personally and then he had been a mooch — we represented a chance to fulfill both needs! Ended up being here anything truly incorrect with this? Only at that very very early stage we told myself that for as long I was okay to let him have a soup or a honey bun when he wanted something as he didn’t get too greedy. Why shouldn’t I reward him for their relationship? In the end, we endured getting one thing from this too — unlike my situation at Swift Annex I’d have jail bad-ass on my part in the event i obtained threatened or harassed.

Did Trayvon have HIV or other STD? Needless to say he said no and said he’d to obtain tested sporadically and blah blah that is blah. I did son’t press the problem or require seeing the test outcomes. Alternatively We asked myself — keep in mind, this guy ended up being assigned to kitchen duty — Would my state’s DOC designate some guy with HIV to that particular sorts of work? I’d to think the clear answer had been no, no chance. Other inmates later laughed within my self- confidence in DOC! Additionally, he wasn’t taking any meds — either K.O.P. (“keep on person”) or dose that is single. Consequently we judged him become healthy.

Had been I the sole guy he had been striking on or are there other people — either immediately within my dorm or perhaps in your kitchen where he worked sixdays per week? Did we worry about that? A jail dorm is approximately the least place that is private can are now living in, therefore I could see the vast majority of Trayvon’s interactions with other people. He previously other friends, black colored & white. Achieved it appear to be he had been striking on any one of those dudes? Response — no. As to whether we cared, we must’ve cared or I would personallyn’t have now been spending a great deal attention. But we told myself we cared perhaps maybe not away from jealousy but because I happened to be nevertheless racking your brains on their genuine motives and focused on getting an STD.

We asked myself: me unfaithful to my ex-wife with whom I hoped to reconcile when I got out if I do this does that make? Exactly What would which means that? We had been divorced!

Could carrying this out somehow turn me homosexual after a very long time to be right — at minimum because it relates to grownups? I did son’t understand yet because I’dn’t had this experience yet. But we thought — no. I happened to be building an exception that is special this “friend with benefits, ” an exception that will end as soon as we finished. We thought, “Trayvon is really an unique situation. What other young black colored guys may be interested in an adult white man? ” To date, i did son’t feel any gayer. I happened to be simply messing around and having some disgusting fun. It absolutely was a jail thing.

Before looking at the possibility advantages Trayvon had to provide as being a “friend with advantagesthat I did not think about ahead of time — although in hindsight I really should have” I need to mention one last rather serious problem! Which was, assume we had been discovered? Suppose rumors because I was spending a lot of time hanging around Trayvon’s bunk and we’re smiling at each other a lot about us began to fly around the dorm just? Exactly What would we do, if such a thing, to squelch rumors that are such?